... tell you about luck.

Well you have seen the house and there is no denying it, beautiful it is.  Big also with everything I have ever dreamed of in a home, bar the proximity of the road.  Compromises something we all have to make and that is ours.

When we showed it to my MiL she said, ' did you ever imagine living in something like this? How lucky you are.'

I disagree.

I always imagined it. Don't we all have dreams of some sort or other.  Mine was always to have four children and live in a beautiful house.

Secondly I am not or ever have been lucky.  Even at this moment there are things going on my life that cause me pain and unhappiness.  The same for everyone I imagine, life is about ups and downs a much used phrase precisely because it is so very true.

But back to my ' old house' getting it has been a culmination of hard work and sacrifice.  Starting here

52, Hirwaun Road,

Aberdare.

This was our first home, our first project.  With my post office savings and a lone from Mike's dad we bought this cottage that cost less than our first car.  Property was cheap for the price of this one particular cottage whole rows could be picked up in derelict state. Why this one?  Because I loved it, so much prettier from the front but unfortunately google can't take us down that path and allow us to knock the door.  My maternal grandmother was born here much visited throughout my childhood with it's town park and boating lake at the end of the road.  When we  took it on there was a hole in the roof and the toilet was at the end of the garden, no bathroom of course, no heating, no kitchen to speak of.  All that we did and it was here we brought home the first of our sons.  Sadly too small, after three happy years we had to move on.

To be continued ...

.... go to lunch and sign a compromis de vente

Off to Grenoble again for today we shall meet with a notaire, sign a form, hand over a deposit and start the official process of buying an old house .  First though we meet at that old place to confirm what old brown stuff  will go, what will stay, future projects planned.  Rather scarily for moi, socialiser not,

 the seller has invited us to lunch.

So today is a blog of photos. 

Welcome to my future.... peutêtre?

8000 sqm of blank canvas

The back aspect,

The boys love and reason why,

they call it,

The Castle

The front and oldest part,

And why I love it.

The grand salon,

A 20 century addition,

Not bad as extensions go!

The fireplace in the extension,

Salvaged from an Old Chateau,

As you do.

Inner hall,
Complete with stain glassed doors.

.. tell you my fears.

Been a little too long between posts I fear, the procrastinator in me rears it's none too attractive head.

One of the problems with moving alot is the waiting alot. That stagnant period when you are leaving behind your old life again but excited to start your new and playing the waiting game.  I am not very good at it, patience, not my strong point, loyalty and continuity unfortunately yes.

Also this time I keep feeling scared.  It is a new emotion for me.  Not that I have  never been frightened.  Yes put a spider in front of me and I run.  See my children at a cliff edge and panic kicks in, adrenalin flares, voice cranks up a notch, I stand paralysed trying with depesperate restraint not to impose my irrational fears on them.

This scared differs though, some would call it anxiety but it is too quiet an emotion to be thus.

Age, death, fear of not having lived well.  Less choices left to make and less time to correct mistakes made.

This house we buy is not the one I have fixated on, a big choice, yes an old house as always but a big house, 500msq plus attics big, can only be that.

Maybe I must remember it is just that, bricks and mortar.  Houses sometimes workout.  When they don't you move on, buy another, use it as a base for a life not actually make 'it' a life.  Alas! maybe that is what I am scared of ?

A big fireplace in a big house,
I try to imagine Christmas,
It helps with the doubts.

... let you in on a secret

Thank you google maps

Alec aussi for showing moi screenshot.

An Old House  may be ours, fingers crossed, touch wood and all that.  Best laid plans .....  the intention was to wait, to hang fire not count our chickens, 70's edition of First Aid in English has a lot to answer for as does my mother.  However bedrooms have been bagsied, sofas selected, Christmases planned. It has a drawing room to die for.  Cool went out the window as competition entered the ring.

U.K sale still chugging slowly forth , still no tie ins no deposits no anything to stop our purchasers fleeing into the night, leaving us high and dry and sans funds to buy this wonderful abode or at the very least a deposit to cover costs already ensued.  However we are nearly there. A final form winging its way, okay optimistic that, dilly dallying across the channel; international post being what it is, random.

Once done that magic word, exchange and then corks pop, celebration time proper and despite knowing the french system will be long and arduous, at least both parties will be committed,  I hope,  moi, I most definitely shall be in all senses of the word.

Ohhh and it comes with a lot of  brown stuff.

...sort through our ski stuff

Holidaying with four boys can be a tricky endeavor and unfortunately or fortunately some would say for many years living on low funds choices were limited.  Thank you Mother in law for accommodating us in you cosy West Country abode and that Longleat Center Parks treat we so enjoyed.  You aussi Tesco satan for many but four boys consume much food, wear through many socks and pants and points equals prizes, equals two weeks Cote D'Azur stay at a delightfully small, family friendly caravan park.

However the payback for spending most of the week sans hubbie mean't increased holiday budget, choice entered the equation.  We chose to ski.  Always the cheapest week, not that flush, but conveniently the quietest.  And then we moved here thoughts of weekends spent slewing down slopes, glistening white planned.

It hasn't worked out quite that way, things never do.  Our rent is high, school fees equally so and the joy of an almost full time hubbie comes with a cut in wage.  Nether the less it is vacances and we will ski, if only two days we can manage.

That said an offer has gone in on ' an old house' , school fees will be halved and the slopes an hour closer.  Fingers crossed, now that sounds familiar.

My how they have grown.

10 year old still fits in youngest jacket.

4 years later!

Great for the budget though.

.. watch Downton Abbey.

It's a tad miserable outside, been like it for days now and I hate gloom.  Also feeling a bit weary as our house sale in the U.K drags slowly forth.  Survey done yesterday and as the country has been flooded for the best part of the year and when not flooded being blown to bits, I am not feeling too optimistic   about the chances of a 6 month empty, 18th century house with a large treed garden coming out unscathed.  So feeling on tender hooks till this part of the tortious selling process is over.

 Also on Thursday we optimistically put in an offer on ' an old house ' and we haven't heard anything back.  I was hoping to pre-empt a second viewing that is happening on the property today.  My gut instinct is that we have gone in too low.  It could work we could save thousands which will be needed for the renovations but we could also loose it all together.  Our fall back option appears to have disappeared off the internet, cela vie.  After the day I had yesterday things are looking decidedly  dreary.

So why Downton, why today?  Well being a mother of four boys T.V viewing is oft of the macho variety.  Zombies, action heroes, horror, war movies, you get the picture.  Very occasionally though I manage to commandeer this state of the art monstrosity that graces, not! my living room wall.   Rarer still there are times when a son shall happen upon my presence there sit himself down aside of me and appreciate a change of genre.  For the second time this has happened with Downton.  'Alas, Alec '

no2, son watched the first few series avec moi and now no 3, Sam has gotten the bug after happening upon my latest xmas special and recent series binge.  So a request he has made to view all from start to finish,  and who am I to argue with that delicious  prospect.

My beautiful old home in Gloucestershire,

Sadly will have to say goodbye,

Curse those bin bags though!

.. actually post my blog and show off my Annie Sloane painted mirror.

My intention is to try to post everyday.  All about discipline and carrying through on projects planned.  So yesterday's blog was all written up and ready to go but internet, as it does, let me down.  So today I shall post yesterday's shall.

Last weekend I did nothing bar reread a long running and favourite blog, to pinch a phrase, " you know who you are" .  Granted I had just enjoyed a wonderful but exhausting two weeks hosting my family, two of whom have significant mobility issues and was feeling the loss of their company.  Was that excuse enough?  No me thinks.

But read I did and inspired I was to get up off my arse and write my own.  So know every day I set a task, it makes me write, it makes me do and it makes me happier.

So yesterday I swept up leaves,  pruned roses, even though I could not smell them and as the sun shone bright, the air was warm we barbecued.

Today though I shall have a friend over for coffee, she who visited an old house with moi and can I show what I have achieved.  But not my blog of course.

Troc Mirror painted in Annie Sloan Paris grey

Graphite

Silver gilded. 

... visit an old house.

..that peutêtre will be the final one as our sale chugs slowly forth in Grande Bretagne.

• 
  

Four we have lived in, four bought in varying states of disrepair but marginally less so each time and each time just as we reach that final stretch a new kitchen or stair carpet or window perhaps, up with the sign and off goes we to another project another dream.

The last we thought for keeps but jobs change and one gets tired of raising four children alone. So in went renters and out went us to this our rented french abode which truth be tell could do with our magic or my magic touch for now it is me that renovates and he that pays with money earned from long hours and travel spent oft away from us.

Frustrating though to hold back thoughts of rooms to swap, floors to lay, walls to paint, baths to fit and kitchens to design. But no, alas, for that would line another's pockets and I must work for me and mine so wait I will.

Yesterday's did.

One chevet in Annie Sloane duck egg.